Just a few days ago there was a news report about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who gave a speech. In it, she made a "... direct appeal to racists and white supremacists ― and her message was simple: “Come back.”
I urge you to take a few minutes and watch it.
For years, I've been saying that these people, these mass shooters, etc. are not "monsters" or "mentally ill" but are actual human beings, very similar to you and me, but pushed to the brink by cultural forces that we have been either unable or unwilling to acknowledge. I have literally ached to get other people to understand that this is the way to work on this problem (connect with them, somehow, rather than push them away), but for most people, change is difficult.
Just like prisoners who are forced to stay in solitary confinement, or residents of racially segregated neighborhoods in perpetual poverty, people under harsh conditions are very likely to experience debilitating trauma. We have just refused to acknowledge that white men can be stuck in a similar situation, possibly through a gross misunderstanding of "male privilege."
Over time, given the chance, people hurt in this way will seek out something that helps them feel empowered again. Join a gang, perhaps. Or join a white supremacy group online. Whatever is available and seems to resonate. Then, at least a few of them will finally build up such rage and despair that they see no way out but to find some source of power (in their otherwise powerless lives) such as a gun, and "take their anger out" on those who they see as responsible. It could be members of a rival gang, or even just random members "of society" around them.
I posted the above link to Alexandria O-C's speech on Facebook, then wrote the following two comments below:
"Finally! We are just starting to hear some of the themes that will make a difference in all this. This is about that four letter word that seems to make people cringe so often: Love. This is about a culture wide problem with Love - speaking about love, practicing love that reaches way beyond the romantic, finding the forlorn, the forgotten, the isolated, the shamed and humiliated ones, and figuring out how to connect to them with Love. This is the hard work we are faced with."
And:
"A devastating side effect of patriarchy is how it made manhood conditional. If you are a girl and grow up to be a woman, we don't say you have to prove you are a woman. After puberty you are.
But we say to boys you have to prove that your are a man, or else you are a "loser." We have shamed men into accepting that violence is necessary to settle differences. Are you tough enough? What does tough mean when we ask that? Tough enough to beat the living sh-t out of someone who has offended you? Is that what it takes to be a man? If you can't or won't resort to that, does that make you a loser?
Then we turn around and shame men when they resort to violence. We call them monsters or worse. Look, we can't have it both ways! This is one of the many foundations of today's epidemic of violence."
I urge you to take a few minutes and watch it.
For years, I've been saying that these people, these mass shooters, etc. are not "monsters" or "mentally ill" but are actual human beings, very similar to you and me, but pushed to the brink by cultural forces that we have been either unable or unwilling to acknowledge. I have literally ached to get other people to understand that this is the way to work on this problem (connect with them, somehow, rather than push them away), but for most people, change is difficult.
Just like prisoners who are forced to stay in solitary confinement, or residents of racially segregated neighborhoods in perpetual poverty, people under harsh conditions are very likely to experience debilitating trauma. We have just refused to acknowledge that white men can be stuck in a similar situation, possibly through a gross misunderstanding of "male privilege."
Over time, given the chance, people hurt in this way will seek out something that helps them feel empowered again. Join a gang, perhaps. Or join a white supremacy group online. Whatever is available and seems to resonate. Then, at least a few of them will finally build up such rage and despair that they see no way out but to find some source of power (in their otherwise powerless lives) such as a gun, and "take their anger out" on those who they see as responsible. It could be members of a rival gang, or even just random members "of society" around them.
I posted the above link to Alexandria O-C's speech on Facebook, then wrote the following two comments below:
"Finally! We are just starting to hear some of the themes that will make a difference in all this. This is about that four letter word that seems to make people cringe so often: Love. This is about a culture wide problem with Love - speaking about love, practicing love that reaches way beyond the romantic, finding the forlorn, the forgotten, the isolated, the shamed and humiliated ones, and figuring out how to connect to them with Love. This is the hard work we are faced with."
And:
"A devastating side effect of patriarchy is how it made manhood conditional. If you are a girl and grow up to be a woman, we don't say you have to prove you are a woman. After puberty you are.
But we say to boys you have to prove that your are a man, or else you are a "loser." We have shamed men into accepting that violence is necessary to settle differences. Are you tough enough? What does tough mean when we ask that? Tough enough to beat the living sh-t out of someone who has offended you? Is that what it takes to be a man? If you can't or won't resort to that, does that make you a loser?
Then we turn around and shame men when they resort to violence. We call them monsters or worse. Look, we can't have it both ways! This is one of the many foundations of today's epidemic of violence."
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