Workshops
Why We Blame, and How to Let It Go
(Previous Title: "Understanding Blame & Shame and how to move beyond them.")
Theory:
As we grow up, we are often blamed for things that "go wrong" in life. Indeed, even adults engage in blame all the time, from politics to relationships, and so on. I wrote more extensively about this in my first book, "a man wearing a dress" and on the "I don't blame you" page here on this web site.
Being blamed repeatedly often leads to feelings of shame, such as "I'm not good enough" or "Everything's my fault." After I realized that blame seldom does any good, I began to investigate why we so often blame others in the first place. I wanted to learn how to live life without blame and how to resolve the feelings of shame that I was left with, after being blamed and bullied while growing up. I decided to put together a workshop to explain what I discovered.
Structure:
The workshop incorporates a slideshow to illustrate my ideas, some exercises for everyone to try, and ends with some time for questions & answers. There is also an opportunity to voice comments and suggestions to help me improve the content for future workshops. It runs for about 90 minutes.
Participants are invited to be "at choice" - that is, no one has to participate in any exercises if they don't want to. I also ask that everyone keep confidential (stays within the workshop and is not repeated elsewhere) anything of a personal nature that might be revealed by anyone else at the workshop, either during the exercises or during the Q & A discussion at the end. It's ok to discuss your own experience as you wish, of course.
Who may benefit:
I originally designed this material for LGBTQ+ youth and their allies, but it turns out that almost anyone can benefit. In order to provide time for participants to ask questions or make comments, I suggest a group size between 15 and 30 participants. For larger groups, I can lead more than one session at a given location.
About the presenter:
I am an experienced co-counselor, have worked with a variety of professional counselors in various disciplines, attended CoDA meetings, and attended workshops presented by the Human Awareness Institute, among others. I graduated from Goddard College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1975.
When asked if I now lead a life free of blame and shame, I reply, "Are you kidding?" I still struggle with these feelings, sometimes on a daily basis! It's a work in progress for all of us, I think. That's why I can relate to pretty much anyone who attends these workshops.
Invitation:
I hope you'll join me the next time I offer it! Please click on the "Events" menu above for dates and locations. See the "Scheduling" page if you want to have me present to your group.
As we grow up, we are often blamed for things that "go wrong" in life. Indeed, even adults engage in blame all the time, from politics to relationships, and so on. I wrote more extensively about this in my first book, "a man wearing a dress" and on the "I don't blame you" page here on this web site.
Being blamed repeatedly often leads to feelings of shame, such as "I'm not good enough" or "Everything's my fault." After I realized that blame seldom does any good, I began to investigate why we so often blame others in the first place. I wanted to learn how to live life without blame and how to resolve the feelings of shame that I was left with, after being blamed and bullied while growing up. I decided to put together a workshop to explain what I discovered.
Structure:
The workshop incorporates a slideshow to illustrate my ideas, some exercises for everyone to try, and ends with some time for questions & answers. There is also an opportunity to voice comments and suggestions to help me improve the content for future workshops. It runs for about 90 minutes.
Participants are invited to be "at choice" - that is, no one has to participate in any exercises if they don't want to. I also ask that everyone keep confidential (stays within the workshop and is not repeated elsewhere) anything of a personal nature that might be revealed by anyone else at the workshop, either during the exercises or during the Q & A discussion at the end. It's ok to discuss your own experience as you wish, of course.
Who may benefit:
I originally designed this material for LGBTQ+ youth and their allies, but it turns out that almost anyone can benefit. In order to provide time for participants to ask questions or make comments, I suggest a group size between 15 and 30 participants. For larger groups, I can lead more than one session at a given location.
About the presenter:
I am an experienced co-counselor, have worked with a variety of professional counselors in various disciplines, attended CoDA meetings, and attended workshops presented by the Human Awareness Institute, among others. I graduated from Goddard College with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1975.
When asked if I now lead a life free of blame and shame, I reply, "Are you kidding?" I still struggle with these feelings, sometimes on a daily basis! It's a work in progress for all of us, I think. That's why I can relate to pretty much anyone who attends these workshops.
Invitation:
I hope you'll join me the next time I offer it! Please click on the "Events" menu above for dates and locations. See the "Scheduling" page if you want to have me present to your group.
Citizen Photojournalism
For information on this workshop, please see the description on my Open Eyes Video "Classes" page.